The impossible Christian Life

The Christian life isn't difficult-it is impossible. If we don't know that, we will try to do things ourselves. Faith is not necessary when we think we can do it ourselves. Faith comes along when we realize that we cannot do it on our own.  Joseph Garlington

This is why I named my blog the way I did. I think about my life at the moment, and think.... How the heck am I getting myself out of bed in the mornings? Only by the Grace of God.

If you're reading this and have absolutely no idea what I'm talking about, well then maybe I should explain:
12 years ago, I lost my mother to cancer. I was ten years old at the time, and my dad, my three brothers, and myself, we were left behind. I hated God. To be completely honest, I have the same thoughts that many do.... Why, if a God is so powerful, and can do anything, why did He not heal my mother??? I'll touch on that in a bit.
Five hears ago, as I flew home from China, My dad told me.... he had a DATE!!! He was so giddy I couldn't believe it. So I actually got to meet her..... late late late, one evening right before leaving the next morning to help at a summer camp up north in BC. Well from there on in, we were in trouble! In a good way of course. She was everything that our family was missing. I fell in love with her as I watched my dad fall head over heels. haha. Well, right before I was going to leave for Australia, my dad took me to see THE RING!!! I was so happy for him I almost cried. I have honestly NEVER seen my dad so happy in his entire life.
So they got married! And two weeks after that, she was diagnosed with Breast Cancer. She did chemo therapy, and radiation, and was apparently cancer free.
She was there for my first (and only) boyfriend, she was there for our engagement, she was there for our wedding, and what can I say, she was just there. No matter what was going on, she was just there. I was so excited to have kids, and have oma play with them, and babysit them like she did for my niece.
Well, God had different plans. At the end of October, Linda went into the hospital because she was short of breath. And when I say short of breath, I mean she could not breath without an oxygen mask on. A week later, we found out that her Breast Cancer had come back, but had gone into her lungs. When this happens, it is about quality of life. She did one round of chemo, but it took her body so long to try to bounce back. She ended up in the ICU, and was told a couple days later that she only had a matter of days..... 6 hours later..... she went home to be with her Lord Jesus Christ. And now I miss her.
Many people thought, for sure, God would not allow something like this to happen to a family such as ours. Well...... He did. But I want to be clear about something..... as pastor Ezra said at the funeral.... God did heal her. Do not be mistaken. Maybe not in the way that we, the ones left behind again, would have liked, but he healed her beyond our expectations. She will never again have hip problems, back pain, colds, or anything. She will now live an eternity with God, in a perfect body. Never again will she hear the word cancer.... sometimes I wish I could say that. She knew her Lord and Saviour, and was bold to share it. Even on her death bed, she said.... Not my will but yours be done.
So now I am going to follow her lead:
NOT MY WILL BUT YOUR'S BE DONE!

Most of the stories I have experience and heard of, about Linda's last few days on this earth, are absolutely unbelievable.
So let us have faith that God will carry us through..... Like the poem Footprints, I know I will not make it through without Him by my side, every step of the way.