So I have been listening to this one song all day long.... it was posted by my friend on facebook, and I can't stop listening to it. It is called "I Wonder" by Leeland, and it brings me to tears.....
At the stars in the night, I wonder
At Your lightning in the sky, I shudder
Your glory is a blanket that covers
Every living thing
I’m in awe at the majesty of who You are
Your love is a seal burnt inside my heart
All of the day I want to be where You are
Holy Father
And it feels like there’s not enough praise inside of me
With all these words, all my heart can sing is holy
You are holy
Jesus Christ
You bled Your love, laid down Yourself
And gave me life
In naked shame You hung and You were lifted high
Here I lay in awe and wonder
I am afraid
For no one’s ever sacrificed and loved me this way
So on my face I fall under Your heavy grace
Here I lay in awe and wonder
And I wonder
I’m in awe at the majesty of who You are
Your love is a seal burnt inside my heart
All of the day I want to be where You are
Holy Father
And it feels like there’s not enough praise inside of me
With all these words, all my heart can sing is holy
You are holy
Ok, so humor me.....
You might have heard this story, but I'm going to say it again...
A father who works for the railway, is in charge of opening and closing the bridge for the trains, and ships. One day he brings his son to work with him, and tells him to go play. His young son being curious, and imaginative as he is, goes and plays around the bridge that the trains cross over.
As a train approaches, the father calls to his son to come see the bridge go down to allow the train to cross. As his father calls, he hears his son crying. His son has gotten himself stuck in the gears of the bridge, and his father tries, but can't get him out. The father has just realized his dilema: he does not have enough time to free his son and get the bridge down in time to save all the passengers on the train...... And now he has to choose. He can sacrifice his son for the good of hundreds, or he can sacrifice hundreds to save his sons life......
With tears in his eyes he watches the bridge go down, and the train cross over.....
Now lets say you were on that train, and you heard of the sacrifice that this man had to make for your sake. Would you not want to investigate such a man, or learn more about him?? Would you not want to know if there was some truth to the story?? After all, he sacrificed his only son for you.......
So whether you are a christian or not, the act in which this song talks about, should make you wonder....
Tuesday, 20 December 2011
Saturday, 17 December 2011
The impossible Christian Life
The Christian life isn't difficult-it is impossible. If we don't know that, we will try to do things ourselves. Faith is not necessary when we think we can do it ourselves. Faith comes along when we realize that we cannot do it on our own. Joseph Garlington
This is why I named my blog the way I did. I think about my life at the moment, and think.... How the heck am I getting myself out of bed in the mornings? Only by the Grace of God.
If you're reading this and have absolutely no idea what I'm talking about, well then maybe I should explain:
12 years ago, I lost my mother to cancer. I was ten years old at the time, and my dad, my three brothers, and myself, we were left behind. I hated God. To be completely honest, I have the same thoughts that many do.... Why, if a God is so powerful, and can do anything, why did He not heal my mother??? I'll touch on that in a bit.
Five hears ago, as I flew home from China, My dad told me.... he had a DATE!!! He was so giddy I couldn't believe it. So I actually got to meet her..... late late late, one evening right before leaving the next morning to help at a summer camp up north in BC. Well from there on in, we were in trouble! In a good way of course. She was everything that our family was missing. I fell in love with her as I watched my dad fall head over heels. haha. Well, right before I was going to leave for Australia, my dad took me to see THE RING!!! I was so happy for him I almost cried. I have honestly NEVER seen my dad so happy in his entire life.
So they got married! And two weeks after that, she was diagnosed with Breast Cancer. She did chemo therapy, and radiation, and was apparently cancer free.
She was there for my first (and only) boyfriend, she was there for our engagement, she was there for our wedding, and what can I say, she was just there. No matter what was going on, she was just there. I was so excited to have kids, and have oma play with them, and babysit them like she did for my niece.
Well, God had different plans. At the end of October, Linda went into the hospital because she was short of breath. And when I say short of breath, I mean she could not breath without an oxygen mask on. A week later, we found out that her Breast Cancer had come back, but had gone into her lungs. When this happens, it is about quality of life. She did one round of chemo, but it took her body so long to try to bounce back. She ended up in the ICU, and was told a couple days later that she only had a matter of days..... 6 hours later..... she went home to be with her Lord Jesus Christ. And now I miss her.
Many people thought, for sure, God would not allow something like this to happen to a family such as ours. Well...... He did. But I want to be clear about something..... as pastor Ezra said at the funeral.... God did heal her. Do not be mistaken. Maybe not in the way that we, the ones left behind again, would have liked, but he healed her beyond our expectations. She will never again have hip problems, back pain, colds, or anything. She will now live an eternity with God, in a perfect body. Never again will she hear the word cancer.... sometimes I wish I could say that. She knew her Lord and Saviour, and was bold to share it. Even on her death bed, she said.... Not my will but yours be done.
So now I am going to follow her lead:
NOT MY WILL BUT YOUR'S BE DONE!
Most of the stories I have experience and heard of, about Linda's last few days on this earth, are absolutely unbelievable.
So let us have faith that God will carry us through..... Like the poem Footprints, I know I will not make it through without Him by my side, every step of the way.
This is why I named my blog the way I did. I think about my life at the moment, and think.... How the heck am I getting myself out of bed in the mornings? Only by the Grace of God.
If you're reading this and have absolutely no idea what I'm talking about, well then maybe I should explain:
12 years ago, I lost my mother to cancer. I was ten years old at the time, and my dad, my three brothers, and myself, we were left behind. I hated God. To be completely honest, I have the same thoughts that many do.... Why, if a God is so powerful, and can do anything, why did He not heal my mother??? I'll touch on that in a bit.
Five hears ago, as I flew home from China, My dad told me.... he had a DATE!!! He was so giddy I couldn't believe it. So I actually got to meet her..... late late late, one evening right before leaving the next morning to help at a summer camp up north in BC. Well from there on in, we were in trouble! In a good way of course. She was everything that our family was missing. I fell in love with her as I watched my dad fall head over heels. haha. Well, right before I was going to leave for Australia, my dad took me to see THE RING!!! I was so happy for him I almost cried. I have honestly NEVER seen my dad so happy in his entire life.
So they got married! And two weeks after that, she was diagnosed with Breast Cancer. She did chemo therapy, and radiation, and was apparently cancer free.
She was there for my first (and only) boyfriend, she was there for our engagement, she was there for our wedding, and what can I say, she was just there. No matter what was going on, she was just there. I was so excited to have kids, and have oma play with them, and babysit them like she did for my niece.
Well, God had different plans. At the end of October, Linda went into the hospital because she was short of breath. And when I say short of breath, I mean she could not breath without an oxygen mask on. A week later, we found out that her Breast Cancer had come back, but had gone into her lungs. When this happens, it is about quality of life. She did one round of chemo, but it took her body so long to try to bounce back. She ended up in the ICU, and was told a couple days later that she only had a matter of days..... 6 hours later..... she went home to be with her Lord Jesus Christ. And now I miss her.
Many people thought, for sure, God would not allow something like this to happen to a family such as ours. Well...... He did. But I want to be clear about something..... as pastor Ezra said at the funeral.... God did heal her. Do not be mistaken. Maybe not in the way that we, the ones left behind again, would have liked, but he healed her beyond our expectations. She will never again have hip problems, back pain, colds, or anything. She will now live an eternity with God, in a perfect body. Never again will she hear the word cancer.... sometimes I wish I could say that. She knew her Lord and Saviour, and was bold to share it. Even on her death bed, she said.... Not my will but yours be done.
So now I am going to follow her lead:
NOT MY WILL BUT YOUR'S BE DONE!
Most of the stories I have experience and heard of, about Linda's last few days on this earth, are absolutely unbelievable.
So let us have faith that God will carry us through..... Like the poem Footprints, I know I will not make it through without Him by my side, every step of the way.
The spirit of Christmas
Yesterday marks 1 month........ It feels like yesterday. I'm so happy I got to give her a hug, and tell her I loved her. Oh how I miss her.
I honestly thought that Christmas this year was going to suck! I cried like a baby as I decorated for Christmas. My favorite decorations were given to me by Linda and my dad, on my birthday. She always seemed to find things in the mall, and knew I would just love it! But, this year, I will remember her, and cherish her. I had five years with the only other woman on this earth, that I would ever call mom, and they were the best five years of my life.
Just to remember a few of the more significant ones:
When I had decided to go to Australia for bible school, she was right there supporting me. She helped me get ready, and always encouraged me. My dad was going to ask her to marry him while I was gone, so he took me to see the ring a couple days before. He was SOOOOO excited, I just couldn't help but love her right away. I actually took my two week break from school, and flew back for their wedding in Manitoba, and it was so worth it!
When I met Frank..... well that was interesting all around. Linda was so excited for us. And when Frank asked me to marry him, She helped me with everything. We went and picked flowers together, bridesmaid dresses, she even took me wedding dress shopping with my girls, and I loved it. Actually throughout the whole process, I didn't miss my mom. That was the one thing that always worried me when I was growing up. Who was going to do up my wedding dress when I got married?? Linda all the way, and she was the best! My pictures with her on my wedding are so much more precious to me. My mom was there, it was Linda.
Anyway, this Christmas we are going to do something different. We are not going to buy gifts for each other, as it just seems so stupid after the past month. Instead, we are going to help a family that our church has brought to our attention. Very unfortunate circumstances around what is supposed to be such a great time to spend together. What a great opportunity. I'll have to write more about it as the project progresses, but for now I will leave it at that.
What is the "Spirit of Christmas?" It's definitely not about giving gifts to each other, that will probably be outdated in about a month. It's not about spending time with family and enjoying good food.
God gave us an extremely important and special gift, and what are we doing with it? Is it a gift that we give away to MCC because the bigger and better version came out? So this year, I will remember the many blessings I have in life, and I will give someone else a great Christmas, because I have way more than I need.
I just have had such a strong conviction in the past two months, that it's about time I start living my faith, and time to be proud of the person that only Christ has formed me into. Other's can know that same joy, and peace that only comes from our heavenly Father, and it's about time I start spreading it.
So who's with me?!
PS. maybe next time I'll explain the title of my blog.
I honestly thought that Christmas this year was going to suck! I cried like a baby as I decorated for Christmas. My favorite decorations were given to me by Linda and my dad, on my birthday. She always seemed to find things in the mall, and knew I would just love it! But, this year, I will remember her, and cherish her. I had five years with the only other woman on this earth, that I would ever call mom, and they were the best five years of my life.
Just to remember a few of the more significant ones:
When I had decided to go to Australia for bible school, she was right there supporting me. She helped me get ready, and always encouraged me. My dad was going to ask her to marry him while I was gone, so he took me to see the ring a couple days before. He was SOOOOO excited, I just couldn't help but love her right away. I actually took my two week break from school, and flew back for their wedding in Manitoba, and it was so worth it!
When I met Frank..... well that was interesting all around. Linda was so excited for us. And when Frank asked me to marry him, She helped me with everything. We went and picked flowers together, bridesmaid dresses, she even took me wedding dress shopping with my girls, and I loved it. Actually throughout the whole process, I didn't miss my mom. That was the one thing that always worried me when I was growing up. Who was going to do up my wedding dress when I got married?? Linda all the way, and she was the best! My pictures with her on my wedding are so much more precious to me. My mom was there, it was Linda.
Anyway, this Christmas we are going to do something different. We are not going to buy gifts for each other, as it just seems so stupid after the past month. Instead, we are going to help a family that our church has brought to our attention. Very unfortunate circumstances around what is supposed to be such a great time to spend together. What a great opportunity. I'll have to write more about it as the project progresses, but for now I will leave it at that.
What is the "Spirit of Christmas?" It's definitely not about giving gifts to each other, that will probably be outdated in about a month. It's not about spending time with family and enjoying good food.
God gave us an extremely important and special gift, and what are we doing with it? Is it a gift that we give away to MCC because the bigger and better version came out? So this year, I will remember the many blessings I have in life, and I will give someone else a great Christmas, because I have way more than I need.
I just have had such a strong conviction in the past two months, that it's about time I start living my faith, and time to be proud of the person that only Christ has formed me into. Other's can know that same joy, and peace that only comes from our heavenly Father, and it's about time I start spreading it.
So who's with me?!
PS. maybe next time I'll explain the title of my blog.
Thursday, 15 December 2011
Your mercies are new every day
How do I describe what I want to say?
I try to think of the little mercies in my life at the moment, and I come up blank.
Blessings..... well that is a long list. Focusing on these blessing is the only thing that will get me through this path that God has laid before me. A path I would not have chosen to walk again. Maybe these blessings are my little mercies.
Around this time of year, everyone looks forward to being showered with gifts, but all I need.... I already have. I want lots of things, but none of these are available in stores or on line.
I know we tend to say what we are thankful for around Thanksgiving, but maybe if we would start to remind ourselves of the many blessing in our lives on a daily basis, our outlook on the little inconveniences in life would change. So here's a start:
-I'm thankful for my husband and the way that he provides for me, and tries to make all my dreams come true. Even if they seem so out of reach.
-I'm thankful for my brothers and sister-in-laws. Although we may bug each other, and joke around, I know that without them in my life, I would be so bored, and empty. I love them.
-I'm thankful for my niece, whom I love so much, it brings me to tears. (All those upcoming nieces and nephews..... ooooo I can't wait!!!)
-I am thankful for my Dad..... how do I describe what he means to me..... no matter what He is always there. Helping, supporting, everything. This man amazes me. His strength and faith through his life, undescribable!! There is no man on earth like him.
There are so many more things in my life to be thankful for, the list would go on forever.
So this is my challenge for myself..... I will not allow life to bring me down, because who is the provider of all these blessings and little mercies in my life, my Lord and Saviour. I put my joy in him, because everything else in my life can fade. Electronics get out dated, renovations on our house have to be completed at one point, and my family members get called to kneel at God's feet in his amazing Glory.
I will learn to dance in Rain. There may be tears in my eyes, but I will dance.
"I pray God may open your eyes and let you see what hidden treasures he bestows on us in the trials from which the world thinks only to flee." John of Avila
I try to think of the little mercies in my life at the moment, and I come up blank.
Blessings..... well that is a long list. Focusing on these blessing is the only thing that will get me through this path that God has laid before me. A path I would not have chosen to walk again. Maybe these blessings are my little mercies.
Around this time of year, everyone looks forward to being showered with gifts, but all I need.... I already have. I want lots of things, but none of these are available in stores or on line.
I know we tend to say what we are thankful for around Thanksgiving, but maybe if we would start to remind ourselves of the many blessing in our lives on a daily basis, our outlook on the little inconveniences in life would change. So here's a start:
-I'm thankful for my husband and the way that he provides for me, and tries to make all my dreams come true. Even if they seem so out of reach.
-I'm thankful for my brothers and sister-in-laws. Although we may bug each other, and joke around, I know that without them in my life, I would be so bored, and empty. I love them.
-I'm thankful for my niece, whom I love so much, it brings me to tears. (All those upcoming nieces and nephews..... ooooo I can't wait!!!)
-I am thankful for my Dad..... how do I describe what he means to me..... no matter what He is always there. Helping, supporting, everything. This man amazes me. His strength and faith through his life, undescribable!! There is no man on earth like him.
There are so many more things in my life to be thankful for, the list would go on forever.
So this is my challenge for myself..... I will not allow life to bring me down, because who is the provider of all these blessings and little mercies in my life, my Lord and Saviour. I put my joy in him, because everything else in my life can fade. Electronics get out dated, renovations on our house have to be completed at one point, and my family members get called to kneel at God's feet in his amazing Glory.
I will learn to dance in Rain. There may be tears in my eyes, but I will dance.
"I pray God may open your eyes and let you see what hidden treasures he bestows on us in the trials from which the world thinks only to flee." John of Avila
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